Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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