Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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