Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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