I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
