yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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