I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
my poor anus
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
