And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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