it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
