ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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