her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
