Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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