My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
