butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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