Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
