I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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