Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
