i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
