he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
