Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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