I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
