In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My bed smells like the plague
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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