I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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