Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
