Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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