it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
