return my video game
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
