woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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