Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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