I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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