bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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