I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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