you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have feelings that need drinking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
