Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
