i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
