I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
