exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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