And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
