i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
