I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
