Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
