I am in a vortex of obligation.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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