He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
