Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You can't special order awesome
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
