If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
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