fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
