we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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