I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
