Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
