I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
