no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
