You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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