I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
