kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
