Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
high people should be assigned attendants
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
