That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
