So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we're making bets on your personal life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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