Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
