there's paper in my vomit.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
