why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
