you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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