You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
